Trippy Trips

Trips are supposed to be fun. And they were usually at least until I had small children. Then they became hours of stressful packing in the midst of screaming, clinging children only to arrive to a destination with the same screaming clingy children now outside of their routine and without their toys to distract them, punctuated by a few moments of beautiful scenery and peace before it all starts again. Then there’s the trip home and unpacking without even the few beautiful moments to look forward to.
This may be obvious by now, but trips stress me out. Trips are a “trigger” although I hate that word because it makes me feel like I’ve lost all free will or choice, as if I’m pure biology like Pavlov’s dogs when a bell rings.

But there’s no denying that my overactive nervous system and normally high anxiety levels go into overdrive on trips. So much stimulation, so much to do and usually without the few precious minutes of alone time I can sometimes snag at home, even if its only on the toilet. If there’s anywhere I’m likely to lose it, it’s on a trip .
In fact one of the worst fights my partner and I have ever had was in Hawaii. Our twins were barely over a year old and being stuck in a car for any period of time made them scream. Trying to find activities that entertained my then 22 year old step son who’s not big on the beach and that the twins could tolerate was far more challenging than I had imagined. What I had pictured as a relaxing stay became busy days crammed with sight-seeing and screaming infants.
I hadn’t slept well since the twins were born and I don’t remember ever being so exhausted in my life, which is saying a lot for someone who made it through residency and its 28+ hour shifts. I lost it big time.

Then COVID-19 came and I found myself forgetting how stressful it had all been and longing to travel again.

One amazing experience on that trip that I never would have had if I’d done only what I wanted and spent the entire time on the beach, was an astronomy tour. The night sky full of stars was breathtaking, and we were able to see Saturn and Jupiter with amazing detail. Seeing Jupiter’s rings and Saturn’s seas was an awesome, humbling experience.

I try to remember I can’t make everyone happy and the point is to spend time together as a family and have fun. If I’m getting angry over a vacation, I’m missing the point entirely.

And if I insist only on what was planned or what I expect, I might miss out on something amazing.

I’ll never know when a trip may be my last for whatever reason, so I’m trying to enjoy life for what it is and to cherish those beautiful, peaceful moments, even if they are few and far between.